learning Japanese...

I was just sitting in my room. Then I looked at the Japanese textbooks and novels stacked on my shelf.
It was then, when I realised - that I have been studying Japanese for about 11 years already. Time really flies, doesn't it? I started having interest in Japanese during my secondary school days when J-pop wave occurred in Singapore - with all the dramas and music (I'd explain that in another entry).

During one of the classes, a random thought struck my mind - "How far have I improved throughout the time I've been studying Japanese?" The preparatory course, which I am currently attending, is only the third short-term classes which I have ever been to. Most of the time I'm just doing self-study via textbooks and novels.

Frankly speaking, in my opinion, it's really hard to put whatever you've learnt into practice - especially when it comes to a foreign language, unless you're working in a company/studying in a school that requires such usage or you're living in the country itself. I don't know what would be the probability and possibility of that happening.

I admit, I do find myself struggling to cope with the Japanese language - especially in Kanji and also conversational skills - that my morale and motivation often get affected. I had asked myself before many years back, "if all this was worth my sacrifice of time and effort or will it just turn into waste". I gave a deep thought and I told myself that, "don't stop just because it's difficult. your efforts would have gone down to waste if you ever stop". I kept going and enrolled myself in the annual Japanese Language Proficiency Tests, despite the lack of a concrete foundation of understanding and usage.

I get surprised by my friends who were awed with the fact that I'm still studying Japanese as many of them have already given up/stopped learning. Sometimes I do wonder what's there to awe about when I don't really know how far have I progressed.

I looked through the past results of my JLPT attempts (which I have all passed so far - my first attempt was only in 2004), I do notice progress. But, how can I ever apply to practice?